Bed Bugs and a Deteriorating Spine

I haven't wrote in a while and there's a reason for that. It's been a bad week.


Let me rephrase that. It's been one of the worst weeks I've ever had. Trust me, I've had a lot of them.


If I were to tell you everything that has happened in my life in the past two years, you would probably try to check me into a mental hospital. On really bad occasions, the thought has even crossed my mind.


But I'm not going to emotionally vomit on you  bore you with the story of my life (that sounds like a good name for a song... yes it's late. Hello my name is Lindsey and I'm corny)


I will however tell you about my week. It started off with me hurting my back. Bear was at a sleepover at Nana and Papa's house and when it came time for Bunkin to go to sleep in their room, he was terrified. He did not want to be by himself. So I layed/sat beside his bed until he fell asleep.


BIG MISTAKE
I could barely walk the next day.


That night we figured out why I had been getting bit ever since we moved into our town house clear back in October.
I thought I was crazy. I kept on waking up with bug bites on me. My husband and I share a bed (I know.. shocker right??) and he wasn't ever getting bitten. If you ask one of my brother-in-laws, he would tell you that I just have bugs. For some horribly odd reason, bugs love my blood. I am AWLAYS the one getting numerous bug bites whenever outside with a group of people. I must have the same blood type as my mom because she has the same problem.


Anyways, we had searched and searched and couldn't find any culprits for all of my annoying bites, until earlier this week when we found bed bugs. We didn't have them before we moved, so I'm assuming the tenant before us left us a lovely present....
So I started sleeping on the couch because I just couldn't fathom sleeping in the bed until the problem got taken care of. Which in turn made my back feel worse.


I finally went to the chiropractor on Thursday. By that point I was in excruciating pain and my entire left leg and foot was numb and tingling constantly. I was told that it was probably a slipped disc and to ice it and keep coming back for treatments.


When I went in Friday, the doctor sat me down to look over my X-Rays. It showed that the disc between my 3rd and 4th lumbar was in fact herniated and it was causing sciatica. The disc space between the two lumbars was only half the space it should be. He said that they would do their best to get it better.
I didn't think the news could get worse. It did. The disc between my 4th and 5th lumbar had completely deteriorated and my lumber's were actually touching. I was told that there was nothing that they could do for me, that the damage was already done.


I am 24 years old. They normally only see this in 50 to 60 year olds. To put it lightly, I was feeling rather devastated. Being healthy is important to me and to have someone say that part of your spine has already deteriorated is just mind blowing.


Why am I telling you all of this??
Two reasons really.

1. I can't just write fluff. I have a desire to write about REAL life. My life. I would be doing you and myself a great disservice if I decided to only write funny, frilly things.
2. I want to tell you what's going on in my life for prayer and to share what I'm clinging to. If there's one thing I've learned in my 24 years, it's that hardships develop character. What kind of character? That all depends on you.

I'm clinging to the fact that God is good and that he loves me. I don't always feel those things, but that's when I have to dig in even deeper and say


I know that God is good.
I know that God loves me.


Some days are hard. I've had days where I don't want to get out of bed. Days where I wonder what in the world God is doing. Days where I feel hopeless and alone. Days where I don't believe that things will ever get better. I've cried until my eyes were swollen shut. I've screamed at the top of my lungs at God. I've had to take antidepressants. I've had to get counseling.


And you know what?? It's okay. If you have ever done/needed those things, it's okay too.


Job went through way more than any of us, and God still found him blameless even though he questioned God and wanted to die. Why?? Because Job loved God and he knew that he knew that he knew that he knew that God loved him too. And he trusted God, no matter what.


So I don't know where you're at in life. Maybe everything is picnics and roses. But someday it may not be. I encourage you to dig deep into God. He is the only one who will never let you down. He never changes. You can trust in him.


Even though always trusting him can be hard, I know that's what I strive to do, and I pray that you will too.