There is Beauty

If we are friends in Facebook, you'll already know that I was involved in a car accident 3 weeks ago.
A driver pulled out in front of me and I hit them going 55 mph. I have a possible fractured foot (there's been differing opinions), ligament damage in my foot, deep knee bruising, a mild concussion, whip lash, and my hips are out of alignment.
Our van was totaled and dealing with the insurance company has been a nightmare. You would think that when an accident wasn't your fault that they wouldn't jip you out of money, but I've found that's not the case.

I've dealt with depression for years, and I normally keep it in check by remaining active and exercising. You can't do that when your foot is non weight bearing.
I took up writing more of my sequel to my first book, "Beneath the African Sky", and reading lots. Then my chiropractor told me that watching TV and those things are the worst things to do with a concussion, so I sat twiddling my thumbs day after day.

3 weeks in I was feeling really badly. I asked for prayer, because I knew I really needed it.
You know what?? It worked!

The evening after I asked for prayer, I felt like God took a veil off my eyes. I was feeding Roo upstairs and the rest of my little family were in the basement playing.
All of a sudden I felt beauty all around me. Roo was laying softly at my chest, birds were singing outside, a squirrel was eating corn in our tree, two little boys were riding their bikes down the side walk out our window, and pails of laughter were coming up from the basement.

It's hard to explain, but I felt as though I were seeing things the way God sees them. I welled up in tears as I realized the wonderful things that God has given me, and that every moment with my family is laced with beauty. I just have to look and see it.

God has always taken care of me, and he will continue to do so. I knew such peace as his presence settled over me. He knows the accident wasn't my fault, he knows my heart, and he'll sustain me.

My family came bounding up the stairs dressed in silly hats and scarves, with a drum and guitar in hand, and they put on a veggie tales "rock show" for me. They just wanted to make Mommy laugh.

And I did.

I pray that you too will see beauty in your life. Instead of being excited for the next big event in your life, wake up excited to see your children's smiles. Appreciate the amazing smell of a flower. Dwell on a sunset. Enjoy the warmth of embrace from your spouse.

This is the way we were meant to be living.

Big Exciting Changes!!!!

It's been a while.... at least six weeks. You want to know how I know??
I'm holding 6 week old Miss Roo on my lap. :) Her nickname for the blog doesn't start with a "B" like the others, but it fits her and I couldn't resist Boo and Roo!

I couldn't ask for better siblings for Roo. They love her so much. Boo will even try to offer her pacifier to her if she's crying, which in my book is the biggest sacrifice anyone could ever make ;) Boo is very attached to her pacey (something we're working on :) )

Our little family is complete and we couldn't be happier or feel more blessed with the beautiful children God has given us. 

Life with 4 children under 4 is... something else!! lol. I am NEVER bored to say the least. I'll do a post about a day in the life pretty soon, but onto other news. :)

WE'RE MOVING!!!! 

Four months have come and gone since we've moved in with my parents. We have been able to take care of the majority of our debt, and we couldn't be more grateful. 

The week Roo was born, we felt strongly led to start looking into a house to rent. We were very drawn to a certain town because of location to my husbands job, and pricing. 

The first house we went to look at we really liked. It was a 3 bedroom, 1 bath for a great price. The landlord told us that 15 other people were also interested in the house, and to fill out the application ASAP if we were interested. 

We did with little hope because of our still low credit scores and not any references. (The place we rented at before, the landlord tried to take advantage of us when we left. He charged us for things we'd already paid, and even had burnt out light bulbs on the list. We didn't pay his outlandish requests, and we knew he wouldn't give us a good reference because of that.)

The landlord called the next day and told us that all he needed was a reference and that it could even be someone that we went to church with. If we gave him one, we could have our choice between that house, and another house that him and his wife thought we would like better!!!! 

We were blown away!! We went and looked at the other house, and liked it even more than the first. 

It's a 3 bedroom, 1 bath as well. It has a big flat back yard (the other house's yard was sloped) and a full basement with tons of built in storage, a mud sink, and even a pencil sharpener!! Can we say PERFECT for homeschooling?? :)

We obviously chose the later, and we move in this weekend!!! :)

We were already feeling like God was outdoing himself for us (not that that's possible ;) ) when my husband got offered a job with a different elevator company. He will be getting a nice pay raise, and guess where his route is going to be?? The town we're moving to and surrounding areas!!

He will no longer have a 4 hour commute to and from work each day. This will mean more time with family, more sleep, and more money. 

Only recently did we start praying for a closer, better paying job, and God blessed us with exactly that!

We're so excited about our families future and to see what else God has in store for us. :)

Pregnant Momma at the Movies

The new year has come and gone. I always have a sense of excitement when it comes to starting a new year. It feels like a fresh start to me. I always evaluate my life, and see what God wants to change or keep the same. I then go out and by a new planner, (for some reason I love planners, notebooks, pens.... I always have. My heart always starts racing when I go down that particular aisle in the store. I'll just chalk it up to being a writer..... ;) ) and write down the things that I want to change. I suppose most people would consider them New Years Resolutions.

My new found sense of hope and excitement died fairly quickly this year. In one word... reality hit. I woke up one morning to one child acting sick with a bad cold, and have been staring at a week and a half of sickness ever since.

These have been my days...

                     They wanted to sit together and watch a movie. Yes, this is how they really looked all week. 

 

Cuddled up reading "Curious George". I think Miss Boo is in mid sneeze lol

(and in case you're wondering, different day, same Pj's for Miss Boo ;) )

 

 

 

Because they were sick, we kept them in ALL WEEK. I didn't mind at first, because my husband and I were sick too. But Monday turned to Friday evening, and I was about to loose my mind!!! Luckily my wonderful MIL said she would watch the kids so we could go out to lunch and see Star Wars Saturday.

 

The joy was real. I felt like skipping to the van. For a few hours, I was kid sick free!!!!!

 

To make sure you understand my week and level of grossness, I'll share this incident with you.  One of they days (they all run together) Bear was sitting beside of me and said,

"Mommy, what's this??" He wiped something off of my shirt and showed me.

 I took one look at it and said, "It's a booger."

"EEEWWWW. Mommy, why do you have a booger on your shirt??"

"Probably because your sister likes to wipe her head on my shirt when she snuggles me. It's not the first time it's happened. Did you know that you've all wiped your boogers on me at some point or other??"

"No!!!" He says astonished.

"Yeah. Maybe I'll start wiping my boogers on you. Would you like that??"

"NOOOO Mommy," He says laughing.

Yeah... I'm sure you know EXACTLY what I'm talking about ;)

 

 

Anyways... like I said, the joy was real. We ate at one of my favorite restaurants (Olive Garden, in case you ever feel like sending me a gift card ;) ) It was delicious and oh so quiet and calm and CLEAN!! 

 

 

                                             How Miss Boo eats Olive Garden when I look away for a moment

 

 

My dad likes Star Wars, so I grew up watching the original ones. To not see it in theaters was not even fathomable. I mean it has Harrison Ford in it!!!!

 

 

 

We get there a half an hour early, and were happy to see one person sitting in the theater.

 

Now let me be honest here. I am currently 30 weeks pregnant with our fourth little blessing. I also have a prolapsed uterus that according to my doctor, makes my pregnancies 5 times more painful than the average woman's.

 

The doctor didn't lie. I'm miserable.

My plan was to find a seat where someone wasn't sitting in front of me, and prop my feet up on the arm rests of that seat. Don't get me wrong, I was raised to treat things with respect, and I had an inner war about if it was really ok for me to do that, but in the end the pain won over.

Sitting normally for two and a half hours was going to be torture.

 

People started trickling in like mad the closer it got to the movie time. We switched our seats two different times so that no one was in front of me. (It was my husband's idea every time. He really loves me :) )

It got closer to the movie and I was in another dilemma. Being pregnant with a cold, I've been VERY thirsty. BUT I didn't want to have to visit the bathroom a million times either ;)

I decided to chance it and get a drink.

 

Can I just say, WOW!!!! Theater priced food and drink is getting even more and more ridiculous!!!

I got in line behind a couple and waited, and waited, and waited. Finally, I was first in line.

The guy at my register decided that the coffee machine needed fixed, and left. I was frustrated, but determined not to leave my first in line place.

 

A few minutes later, a lady called that they were the only ones with cash registers open. 

The black old man with a cane behind me, ran to the open register while I waddled like a penguin in disbelief to stand behind the other register.

I wanted to take his cane and hit him with it. He OBVIOUSLY didn't need it.

 

The couple in front of me apparently didn't have any kids, and have plenty of money. They ordered like 7 different things off of the menu, including extra, extra, extra butter on their popcorn (his words, not mine) In order for me to order 7 different things, I would have to take out a small loan or sell a child.   

 

 

 

The black old man with the cane asked for a drink and was out of there lickedy split.

It FINALLY became my turn, and I was happy to announce to the punk boy teenager that I only wanted a drink. Surely this wouldn't take long.

 

I was wrong.

The drink machine was on the other side of the of the room, and he started his slow trek there. He stopped to chat with the other guy who was still fiddling with the coffee machine. By this time I had called his bluff. He had NO IDEA how to fix it, but sure was enjoying every moment he got away with it.

He slowly got my drink, and stopped to chat with the cute blonde girl behind the other register. Yeah, I know she's cute, but flirt on your own time, not mine!!!

 

I got my drink and waddled as fast as I could back to the theater. Luckily only commercials were playing. I sighed a big sigh of relief to see that the seat in front of me was still vacant. I refused to put my feet up until after the movie started. I wasn't going to be THAT person.

 

The silly "Silence your cell phones now please" lady came on, and I rubbed my hands in anticipation. I was going to get to put my feet up!!!!

 

 

Then who do you suppose meanders into the theater, milking his cane???? My eyes locked on him and all I could think was "Please no!!!!"

He looks around, and rubs his graying beard. It took everything within me to not put my feet up. 

He slowly makes his way to the seat right in front of me, and sits down.

 

NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I secretly think this guy has it in for me. Where had he been all of the glorious minutes that he wasn't standing in line???  

 

My husband and I both have a good laughing fit. I had already told him all about the man with the cane.

 

I'll just say it was God's way of providing me more material to write about :) Hope it made you smile!





Life in 2015

I had started to write "a day in the life" post about... a month ago??? It has been so long since I started it, that I can't remember exactly what happened that day. So I decided to just do a broad life post. How homeschooling is going and life in general.

I guess the biggest change that has happened since my last post is that we have moved in with my parents for a while. As I'm sure you could probably tell from previous posts, our credit isn't in the best shape. And my parents being the best in the world, offered for us to move in for no more than a year to help us get out of debt. I'll never forget their generosity as long as I live. Inviting a family of 5 (soon to be 6) to live with you is a BIG deal. But so far it has been going really well. :)

You may be wondering where we all fit :) Here you go!!

In one room :) And just when you thought that I couldn't get any crazier!!! But you know what?? It's really not that bad, and I actually mean that.
I think the family of five sleeping in one bedroom deserves an entire post to itself, so stay tuned!!


Other then that, the days have been starting out around 7:00-8:00 (if I'm lucky).
They have been filled with lots of this...

Load after load

  And this....

Mess after mess



And this....

Living in the bathroom

BUT they also have been filled with lots of this

My sweet daughter's smiles



And this....

Hours of these two playing together

 

 

And this....

 

Playing with Daddy

There really is never a dull moment around here. I can vaguely remember a time when I used to be bored. It was before kids entered the picture. lol. I would choose the crazy, loving, chaos over being bored any day.


Homeschool preschool has been going great!! I can't believe how much Bear is learning. I have really tried to focus on reading quality books with all three of them, and having a laid back fun approach to learning. Here are some things we've been doing.

                          

                                        

 

 We read "The Carrot Seed" and found all of the carrots that were mixed in with our foam letters. We were going to do it a second time, but Bear and Bunkin couldn't stop eating the carrots. lol

 

We read "We're going a Bear Hunt" and worked on our numbers in the teens by hiding a bear behind the cave numbers, then trying to guess which cave the bear was under. (Bear wanted his transformer in the picture :) )
We also took scissors outside, cut grass, and hid a counting bear in a tub of grass to find. We used our hands and then tongs to make it a little harder.


Lately we've been doing Christmas things. We're going to go cut down our tree this weekend, so this week is going to be all about Christmas trees.

 

We've been reading "The Year of the Perfect Christmas Tree". My aunt had given this book to me and my sisters as a Christmas present when we were kids, and it's really a fantastic book. You should check it out.
I printed off a do-a-dot paper from pinterest, and wrote some upper case letters on the paper and matching lower case letters on the stickers. Bear then matched the upper and lower case letters, and he got every one of them right. :)
We also made a Christmas tree forest using play dough and a cookie cutter, then we "decorated" them with some pinto beans that we already had. Bear wanted to have 7 beans on a lot of them, so he would see how many he had on there already, and then quickly tell me how many he needed to still add. I was very proud of him. I think math will be a strong subject for him. :)


I'm loving having these precious days with my kids. They are hard and tiring, but so worth it. They all three get so excited when we sit down to have our reading time together. I can see they are already starting to form "relationships" with books. We'll take them to the library and they'll get so excited to see a book that we've already read together and beg to check it out again.
I'll be playing with them or doing "activities" (as we call preschool things a lot) and they'll come over and hug and kiss me or Bear will say "I love doing activities with you."
It warms my heart to no end.

Knowing me and the busy life I lead, I probably won't get to post again until after Christmas, so here's to wishing you and your family a Merry Christmas and may God bless you all in the New Year. :)

On Purpose

Yesterday I went to a young man's funeral. He was only 22 when he passed away in a car accident. I have known and loved him and his family for a long time, and I was heartbroken for them.

The funeral home ended up being standing room only. It was such a testament to this young man and how much he was loved.

It really impacted me. Everyone talked about how much joy that he had and how he really truly loved people.

One thought has stayed in my mind. We should all live life like that.
Even if you live 100 years, life is still so short. We are reminded constantly how short life is, and yet we still don't always treat it as the beautiful gift from God that it is.

We squander our time. Life should be lived on purpose every single day.

I believe that this is one of the biggest lies that satan (his name DOESN'T deserve capitalization) feeds us. WE HAVE ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD.

We can reprioritize later.
Forget the hours that we spend on meaningless pursuits, we're busy and deserve them right?
Forget the hours we slave away at jobs just to get a little farther ahead then Joe down the street.
Forget the broken relationships that are screaming for reconciliation. That person doesn't really deserve it.
Forget getting your life right with God. He'll always be there later.

It's all a bunch of lies.

satan wants us to feel comfortable with the time that we have, so that we don't live on purpose every single day, when really that should be our biggest priority.

So the next time you go to get on Facebook, think about it.
The next time you feel pressured to keep up with the Jones', think about it.
The next time a person that you need to forgive crosses your mind, think about it.
The next time you're reminded of God, REALLY think about it.

If we really all lived on purpose, the world would be a different place.

The Mommy Zone

There is something that every mother develops little by little over time after she welcomes her second child home. Her own inner "zone" that she goes to when she feels like screaming and crying. Maybe I had it when it was just Bear.... it's honestly hard to recall only having one kid lol.

I can remember the first day that it was just me, Bear and Bunkin. I was TERRIFIED. I obviously knew how to take care of a baby, and a 20 month old.... but not at the same time!! My husband had wonderfully taken a few days off after Bunkin came home, and then my mom came and helped off and on for a few days after that, but eventually, I had to be all on my own.

It was lunch time. Bear was crying, Bunkin was crying, and I was crying! I ended up calling my mom to have her talk me through who to feed first, and how to get it done quickly because I felt like I was going to pass out!

Oh how I've grown since then.

I'll also never forget the first evening that we didn't have dinner delivered to us when Boo was born. (If you are pregnant, PLEASE line up some people to bring you food that first week the baby is home. You have enough going on to worry about dinner time. I'll gladly bring you something to eat!)

Anyways... time had gotten away from me (hmm I wonder how??) and suddenly everyone was HUNGRY including Miss Boo, which also meant everyone was howling their faces off.
I went into desperate mode and started to make the boys some fried eggs. My husband tried to calm everyone down, but they were having none of it.
I was so frantic that I forgot to put oil in the pan first, and when I went to check on the eggs, they were burning and smoking horribly.
So now, I have three screaming children, a smoky house, and a frazzled mom and dad. I threw the pan in the sink, slapped some peanut butter on some bread, threw some chips on a plate, and let the boys watch their favorite show while they ate their nutritious dinner. ;)
I wearily sat down with Miss Boo so that she could nurse. I look over at my husband, and we just loose it. We go into complete hysterical laughter. I think we were both thinking, "What in the world did we do??" ;)

But, the mommy zone is like any muscle. The more you use it, the stronger it gets. When everyone is hungry at the same moment, I don't even bat an eye anymore. When I'm trying to use the bathroom and Bunkin sneaks in to turn on the sink to play in it, Bear is opening the door to see if Daddy is home yet, and I remember that I forgot to put the pack-in-play in front of the stairs (our makeshift gate) and Miss Boo is zooming up them, I usually just sigh.

Sometimes though... it gets tested. Like yesterday for example.

I had decided that we would eat our afternoon snack of grapes and milk outside today since it was so nice. The only thing I didn't account for was the bees that were hungry for grapes too.
Apparently, Bunkin is TERRIFIED of bees. I mean total freak out including screaming, shaking and crying uncontrollably. I literally had to shove all three of the kids inside and close the door because they were frozen in fear. I left the grapes outside, the bees could have them!!

I ushered the still crying boys into the living room and told them to sit down and calm down while I got them more grapes.
I went back to the kitchen to find that Miss Boo had pulled one of the bags of grapes off of the counter (two were sitting there),and they had spilled all over the floor where she was trying to eat them. MAJOR chocking hazard. I scooped her up and placed her in her high chair with some sliced grapes to munch on.
I get the boys their grapes and hope that they will calm down. It appeared they might until a fly landed on Bunkin's hand. Holy Moly, I have never seen a child so distraught. He of course thought it was a bee, and no matter how hard I tried to convince him, he refused to believe that it wouldn't hurt him. He kept on repeating, "Shoot him mommy. Get him." I of course would have, (killed it, not shoot it ;) ) but the fly was no where in sight.
He climbed on my lap and continued to scream and cry for what felt like forever. It didn't help that Bear kept on saying "I think I see the fly!!" He was legitimately concerned for his brother, but had no idea he was making it 10 times worse. Miss Boo has also become an empathetic crier. Anytime one of her brothers cries, she has to wail too.

That's when my phone went off. My sister was asking if we could watch her kids while her and her husband ate and grocery shopped alone. (We had owed her babysitting for MONTHS now, and every time she asked, it never worked out.)
A light bulb went off in my head, I could get Bunkin away from the fly, and me from the crying!!!!

I try to get things ready, but Bunkin wants me to carry him around everywhere because he is still so scared. I get the keys and Bear puts his shoes on, but then I notice that we are missing one of Bunkin's shoes. (It's ALWAYS one shoe) I go upstairs to search, and in the meantime misplace the keys I just had in my hands. The climbing all over me and screaming were a teeny bit distracting.

I decided that I'll take the kids to the van, and come back in and find them. I couldn't think with all the noise. I pick up Miss Boo and try to usher the boys outside, but Bunkin refuses to follow unless I carry him. He sits by the door screaming like a banshee until I come back to get him. He is not a light little fellow either. By this point, I'm sweating like crazy, my mommy zone was starting to scream a little too loudly, and I notice that I'm trying not to whimper lol.

I come back in and search for a good few minutes till they finally turn up. That's when I hear the high pitch screaming coming from the van. I run out there, and Bear informs me that he saw a bee on the window, and of course told Bunkin all about it.
By this point, I'm hoping to get out of the house before Child Services shows up. Our neighbors aren't too bad, but it was an awful amount of screaming lol.

I finally pull out of the driveway, and notice that I'm shaking all over, and gripping the steering wheel a little too tightly lol.

My mommy zone sure had a work out yesterday. Maybe it knows it needs to get stronger for when our newest addition arrives this March :)

(Oh and we returned home late last night with grapes still all over the floor ;) )

Living Defeated

I haven't posted in a while. I love writing about things that make people laugh. Honestly, I love laughing. It's very involuntary sometimes.... just ask my family. ;)

But the last few weeks have been really hard for me. It all started with a picture, one that I allowed to cause me pain.

It sent me down a spiral that wasn't pretty. Through everything that I've been through the last couple of years, I would get mad at God for a moment, and then turn everything back over to him. This time, I hate to admit, I got mad and stayed mad.

Even though I know who created me and that I am beautiful and wonderful in his eyes, I still struggle with feeling like trash and not enough for anyone.

Because I am crazy ;) and have 3 small kids and one on the way, I have a hard time finding time for devotions and prayer, and I started beating myself up for that too. I decided that my efforts were not good enough, so I wasn't going to do it at all.

I tried to withdraw from everyone, including my husband, but he was having none of it. He would pray for me, play encouraging songs for me, and just hold my hand and tell me that he was there for me. It meant more than he knows.

But, God, as always, broke through my anger. He whispered truth into my hurting heart.

The enemy would say... "Your obviously not good enough" He would say... "You are my peculiar treasure and I love you."

The enemy would say... "You are an awful friend, that's why you don't have very many" He would say... "You are a great friend. You've always wanted to help people. How could you understand them without ever feeling pain yourself?"

The enemy would say... "God has abandoned you." He would say... "I will never leave you nor forsake you. Don't mistake me for the actions of others and the hard circumstances of life."

In a nut shell, I had been living defeated. I don't want to anymore, and I don't have to anymore.

One of the songs my husband played for me is this the one I posted above. The first time I listened to it, I didn't like it because I didn't want to hear it. Now... it's my new favorite song.

Just know that if you are living defeated, you don't have to either. I hope you enjoy the song :)